Watching your six
by LadyTrish
Summary: Set right after "Recoil". Tony pays Ziva I visit and wants to know her reasons behind pushing him away and getting close to Michael.


**Hello! I'm back with a short one shot. I'm struggling with my other story big time, but I still managed to come up with something new. Reviews are greatly appreciated, and if you have any ideas about "His past, her present, their pain" please e-mail me. I am completely lost :)...Until then, read and review this one and most important enjoy.**

**xoxo LT**

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**Watching your six**

The clock was ticking lazy in the dim light of her apartment, while she lay in bed, trying to get some shut eye. But nothing seemed to work anymore, the flash backs returned every time, although, she had tried basically everything from alcohol, to warm milk and even sleeping pills. Still the much needed sleep seemed to avoid her. Every time she closed her eyes, she could only see Hoffman's eyes; those cold, calculated eyes, which wanted her dead, like the other women he had murdered. Her head played the scene over and over again, and she still couldn't believe that she had been in that situation. No gun with her, no way to protect herself; she had been so close to death yet again.

Although she had faced death so many times, things had changed in the past three years so much. She wasn't that inhumane assassin anymore; she had evolved and had become an investigator, somebody that couldn't deal with the vicinity of death so easily.

Ziva slowly moved her body in bed, hoping that the cold sheets of her large bed, could help her fall asleep, or at least make her relax. The clock was louder then she liked it to be, somehow mocking her that she was still awake at that hour. Ziva pondered for a few seconds if she should stand up and go for a run or just stay in bed and do nothing.

Somehow her confused thoughts drifted back to Tony and his comment when he tried to touch her hair earlier in the office: _"I was just going to tussel your hair. Sometimes it makes you smile."_

She couldn't help but smile when she thought about the comment and the concern in his eyes, and yet something inside of her made her angry. He wasn't there when she was so close to dieing, he wasn't the one, taking her in his arms, and he wasn't there to cover her six. Sure Gibbs had made him go to Hoffman's house, and sure he had to see if their killer had struck again, but he could have argued with Gibbs and made McGee search the house. But he didn't, in fact he had been avoiding her during the entire mission; he changed the subject every time Gibbs mentioned that she had to become more involved with the suspect.

A loud knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts. She choose to ignore it and rolled on the other side of the bed. Yet the noise wouldn't stop, on the contraire, the knocking intensified. Finally, when she had to acknowledge that the noise would wake up the whole building, she decided to see who it was. She pulled her gun out and went to the entrance of her apartment. The assassin opened the door with force and couldn't be more amazed of finding an unshaved and tiered looking Anthony DiNozzo.

"Tony! What the hell are you doing here, at two o'clock in the morning?" she asked annoyed.

"I couldn't sleep." He plainly stated…"Can I come in?" he asked while pushing Ziva aside softly and waking inside her apartment.

He loved her apartment so much. It always made him feel at home and it always made him feel invited. Every time he came over, he could smell her perfume and somehow it made him feel safe and peaceful. Something he hasn't felt with any of the women he had had a relationship of any sort.

"Well, I see something is bothering you." She spoke softly, while he looked at his haunted face.

"Heh! How did you guess that?" he asked; sarcasm present in his voice.

"Tony I am not really in the mood of sarcasm. Please tell me what is bothering you or leave." She spoke a little more harshly then intended.

"I'm sorry Zee. I'll leave." He whispered and walked towards the door.

"As long as you made it over to my place you can still tell me what is bothering you. After all I wasn't sleeping."

He turned around and walked back to her couch, where he sat down between her beige cochins. He covered his face with his palms and inhaled sharply when she sat down next to him, touching his thigh with her palm. He could feel that sensual and discreet perfume she seemed to spread every time she moved.

"Tony, tell me what's wrong with you. I am your partner after all." She murmured.

Finally he lifted his face from his hands, his eyes meeting hers. He could see the ghostly form of a nightmare playing in her eyes, and somehow he wasn't sure if he should ask her the question that had been tormenting him all day long. Finally after seeing a hint of worry in her eyes, he gathered all his courage and spoke.

"I can't find rest Ziva, I need to know. Why did you do it?" he began and saw confusion in her eyes, but also interest.

"I mean why did you prefer Locke's company and not mine when I offered to go for a drink? Why did you let him touch your hair and snapped at me when I tried to make you smile? Why did you sleep with him?" he blurred out, and she could sense anger and sadness in the last question.

She wanted to scream it out, and make him see what she had been hiding for such a long time, but at the same time his rude intrusion in her privacy irritated her.

"I don't think that is any of your business Tony." She stated coldly.

"Yes it is Ziva. You are my partner." He trailed away.

"Really Tony? And here I was thinking that we were also friends!" she exclaimed with sarcasm.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he hissed dangerously.

"Tony, where were you when I nearly died?" she asked.

"I was at Hoffman's house, where Gibbs told me to be. You know that." He replied unsure where the discussion was heading.

"Exactly!" she yelled out.

"Ok, now I'm confused. I was doing my job." He defended himself.

"Wrong Tony! Your job was to watch my six, and not sneak inside a house." She shouted, more angry then before.

"I couldn't have done anything. Gibbs told me to go there. Besides you were in very capable hands. Gibbs and McGee were watching your back." He hollered back at her.

"You always have a witty comment when Gibbs makes you do something. Why didn't you tell him that you want to go with Gibbs and make Tim check the house out? Why Tony? Why did you avoid my gaze every time I spoke about the nature of the relationship between the suspect and me? Tell me Tony." She screamed, not caring anymore of the neighbors would hear her. She just wanted to know Tony's reason for not being there when she needed him the most.

"Your question still doesn't explain mine Zee-vha! Why did you let him touch your hair? Why did you sleep with him? I want to know, I need to know!" he hissed back at her.

"I am not going to answer those questions Tony. Now leave me alone, because it's clear you don't want to answer my questions." She responded while rising from her couch and moving away from him.

Her anger had caused her a head ache and she could see small black spots from the sleep deprivation. She just wanted to sleep and not think about Hoffman, Michael or Tony.

"No! I'm not leaving until you answer my questions." The Italian spoke also rising from her couch.

He had enough of this game and wanted the truth out of her, even if it would take the remaining of the night, or the next day or the following days. Her actions and the danger she had gone through had brought him many sleepless nights. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.

She spun around and gazed at him, her eyes wild and angry.

"You want to know the reason I slept with Michael, why I let him touch me? Do you?" she asked coming closer, invading his space.

"Yes, I want to know." He hissed and grabbed her arms violently.

"I slept with him, because you weren't there. You tried to joke about the whole deal and buy me drinks but you weren't there when I needed to be comforted. You weren't there when I needed somebody to hold me close when the nightmares would wake me or wouldn't let me sleep. You had been so blind for such a long time that I gave up on trying to show you how I feel and what I need from you." She spat out and pulled herself away from him.

He was too stunned about her confession. To stunned about everything and couldn't really comprehend her words. After a few minutes of sheer silence, he brought up the courage of asking her.

"When you said that you gave up on trying to show me how you feel, did you mean about what happened with Hoffman or in general?"

"What difference does it make? I'm tiered of showing you, and that's it." She spat out bitterly.

"Well maybe it matters to me, Ziva!" He replied angry.

He was tiered of her riddles, and he wanted to know that he understood here and that they were thinking the same thing.

"In general Tony. I am tiered of showing you how I feel. I have been doing that for far too long. I'm tiered of hoping that you would wake up and smell he carnations, and I'm tiered of being with men and wishing it could have been you and not the men I was with" She whispered while she face him. At the same time she wasn't really able to look him in the face.

"It's roses Ziva." He corrected and came a few steps closer.

Her head snapped and she wanted to reply something sarcastic for correcting her yet again, but his eyes made her melt. Those green, sparkling eyes that made her fall in love with him were looking at her. His eyes, were not wearing the mask he usually had on, his eyes were full of something she couldn't define.

He cupped her cheeks, she grabbed his wrists, wanting to push him away, but he held her firmly. He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes, inhaling his perfume. He placed a hand around her waist, pulling her closer to him and she could hear him breath, while she was feeling his heartbeat.

"You drive me mad every day at work. You make me worry every time I am not next to you, and when you are safe and well you run away from me. When you are with another man it hurts so much that I want to bang my head against a wall hoping that it would make the pain in my heart go away. When I see another one touching you it breaks my heart because it isn't me. This is why I left McGee watch your six. I didn't want to have to see you with another one, playing girlfriend/boyfriend." He whispered while playing with a soft curl.

She was speechless, couldn't comprehend the whole extend of his confession. Her stomach was full of butterflies and the only thing she could do was lean into him, because she couldn't trust her voice. She let go of his wrist and put her arms on his waist, while she buried her head in his shoulder.

Tony could feel her sobbing and the tightened the grip on her frame. He was surprised by her reaction, but it made him happy, because it meant that she let him in. She didn't put on her brave face anymore, she let him see her pain, her fear, she let him see Ziva just the way she was, when she wasn't kicking ass.

After a while he softly spoke, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

"You need to sleep sweet checks. I have been watching you for the past couple of days, and I can see that you haven't really been sleeping too much."

"I can't sleep!" she stated plainly.

"C'mon." he said while pulling her towards her bedroom.

He quickly pulled his t-shirt over his head and took his pants off; while Ziva gave him a t-shirt he had left at her place. Both NCIS agents slid under the covers and Tony put an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He buried his nose into her perfumed curls, while their feet tangled under the covers and their fingers over the covers.

He kissed her check, and looked at her, while her features started to relax. When he heard her peacefully snore, he managed to fall asleep.

Their peaceful sleep gave a new meaning to the expression watching your six.


End file.
